


Book XV - The Devil

by niawen



Series: Heartblind: Apprentice Erin Canon Run [5]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, F/M, Light Whump, Mutual Pining, Novelization, Other, Shippy Gen, Whump, source-appropriate violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27901555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niawen/pseuds/niawen
Summary: The Masquerade is, at once, a reprieve and temptation but also a viper's den.
Relationships: Apprentice/Muriel (The Arcana)
Series: Heartblind: Apprentice Erin Canon Run [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2043058
Kudos: 2





	Book XV - The Devil

**Author's Note:**

> Two introverts take a break from a loud party and do their own thing.

By the time the clamor inside the Palace- the small talk, the crowd, the volume of the guests that seemed to be constantly increasing- finally had Muriel turning sharply on his heel and marching out to a veranda, Erin was more than relieved to follow (though she was still functioning enough to offer a semi-polite excuse to Asra, who only smiled slightly). Following him at a trot, she closed the oversized door behind her quickly, as though glad to put a barrier between her and the revellers.

Muriel was hunched over the balustrade, his shoulders heavy and his posture tense, ornate bear mask resting beside his elbow. She caught his eye for only a fraction of a second as he cast a mistrustful glance over his shoulder- as though afraid some anonymous guest had followed him- before turning back towards the gardens and the hazy moon hanging above it.

The air outside was much cooler and it was blissfully quiet as all of the guests were much more concerned with the festivities inside. The faint murmur of hundreds of voices could still reach them out here, but it was overall ignorable underneath the sounds of crickets and the nearer line of white fountains on the grounds below.

She pulled her own mask higher, until it was resting at a lopsided angle on her forehead. Erin had the slightly melancholic feeling that her presence wasn’t specifically desired, that she was intruding on him, but she tried to second guess the feeling as intrusive. They were friends, she reminded herself. Maybe sometimes they were more. She swallowed that last thought down quickly, mentally preparing to leave if he seemed truly bothered by her presence. Bolstering herself, she approached him, wanting to be nearer, but didn’t say anything as she came to rest her arms on the cool stone of the barrier next to his larger form.

He sighed somewhat heavily and, prompted to comfort (as always), Erin laid her hand on his forearm. He didn’t jump but she could feel the muscles there bunching tightly beneath his sleeve. “You okay?” she ventured after a moment. “I know this… isn’t really your element.” She thought back briefly to his impromptu fishing lesson in Tarske. How casual, how comfortable he’d been with her when it was just them, away from anyone or anything that could damage him, distracted from danger by a brief but special moment. She felt the familiar churn of anger on his behalf, that he had suffered so intensely and for so long but she fought to keep it from her face.

He looked down at her finally and offered a half-smirk that came off as a bit forced. “Crowds… I- I hate them. Can’t hear myself think, can barely breathe… I needed to get away.” His voice was so deep but always so quiet. Erin found herself subconsciously leaning into him a little more, their arms pressing together.

“I can go back in, if you need,” she offered, though she felt a slight pitch in her guts at the thought of being back with all those people.

He straightened up a little quickly, his arm sliding out from under her palm and he recovered by grabbing her hand somewhat awkwardly in his much larger one. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. You don’t count,” he said quickly, having not intended to imply that she wasn’t wanted but embarrassed as hell by his own awkwardness..

“I don’t count as strange people anymore?” she asked, grinning as he reddened and looked slightly mortified, eyes averting.

“You’re definitely weird,” he grumbled. “But not a stranger anymore.”

She wanted to laugh at the comment but managed to stifle it, settling on a lopsided smile, her eyes instead settling on their hands. She pulled them up to rest on the balustrade as she turned back to lean against it once again, taking in the party lights hovering over the garden below. “I… really don’t like crowds either. I’ve gotten better at dealing with them, but they still make me queasy.” She thought about the marketplace near the shop… how hard it had been to buy even basic necessities. “And this is… I mean, all high-society and expensive and… I don’t know. It's weird. I feel really out of place, even with the costume Nadia gave me. From what you’ve told me it sounds like past-me would have enjoyed this kind of thing more.”

Muriel made a soft noise of approval, thinking with disdain on a lot of the pointless flaunting and preening. “Past-you was… a completely different person. We’ll have to get Asra to tell you more soon. I really only interacted with you a few times and listened to him gush.” he grumbled, the slightest hint of an annoyed undercurrent to his low voice. Erin flushed at his inclusion of himself in unearthing more of her past, though she did notice that he suddenly looked a little redder as well.

“I’m…” he went on after hesitating a second, looking unsure and trying to side-eye her without being too obvious about it. “I’m really surprised… at how much better you are at handling crowds. Than a few years ago. Than me… ever.”

“It’s… It's been hard. I still get overwhelmed when it’s loud or packed…” she said with a slightly self-deprecating chuckle. “I used to get halfway to the market and then chicken out and turn back around.”

“I know.”

Erin’s flush went deeper with embarrassment now, forgetting that Muriel had seen more of her rehabilitation than she ever would have guessed. His tone wasn’t reproachful or annoyed, though. It was gentle and almost peaceful, even as he avoided her eye and looked up at the moon determinedly. “I… don’t know what that must be like. To wake up three years ago and have nothing from before. I have… too much from before now..”

“Tomorrow’s another day,” Erin said with a shrug. “Honestly, just getting to the point where I could pick up groceries was, you know, labor intensive so obviously I don’t think it's easy… But you can start trying whenever you want and take small steps.”

He finally turned his head to look at her a little, his expression cautious but not closed off. Mostly, he looked like he was studying something interesting that he had not quite worked out yet. “We have... _very_ different backgrounds,” he reminded her, a wry smirk tugging at his lips.

“We have different goals, too. It took me almost three years to figure out how to do the necessary tasks to take basic care of myself without Asra’s constant babysitting or hurting myself more. But you’re great at that- you built a house in the woods by yourself, you grow or hunt all your own food. You’re way past me in terms of time and experience being self-reliant. But,” she paused, looking for the right words. “You don’t need the same thing I needed, even if the symptoms are sort of similar.”

He considered this for a second. “What do I need?”

She laughed, taken off guard. “You want me to answer that for you? Muriel… I...”

He shifted sideways to face her fully, his hip leaning up against the stone casually. “You…” he said, inclining his head a little to indicate that he wanted her to continue. “You say stuff that makes me think.” A full second passed and the small smirk abruptly faded from his lips, his face turning crimson and his eyes pointedly averted. “Damn it, that came out stupid.”

She looked away to spare him the embarrassment but had a hard time fighting down the affectionate smile tugging at her lips. “I think… Maybe you just need to think about the people you _do_ want in your life. Maybe that would be more productive for you than thinking about how to keep everyone else away. You know, barring the mad Count we’re tracking down now. He’s kind of an immediate problem.” Muriel snorted ruefully. After a moment’s pause, she gestured over her shoulder with a thumb. “You don’t like balls. Is it only because of the people?”

“That’s definitely part of it,” he agreed quickly. But then he went on a second later. “I don’t like dressing up really, I don’t like the strutting or the nobility…”

“Okay, then logically, there’s not much point in you working really hard to get good at going to balls,” Erin concluded. “But, if you like spending time with-” she deliberately kept her expression neutral as her face heated damnably, “-me, or Asra, or even Nadia, you can work on things that make those interactions better.”

He looked at her without responding for a long second, seemingly contemplating this. “What, like talking?”

“Not really that, just… Keeping in mind that the time you have with people is limited. And you should do your best to make the most of that time. And maybe that if someone cares about you, that’s their decision to make. It's not something you ‘earn’ or ‘deserve’. It just is.”

He didn’t say anything and Erin was hopeful he was thinking on what she’d said. His expression was still mostly contemplative- a heartening sign if ever there was one given how tense he was most of the time- and he made a small, noncommittal noise that Erin had come to interpret as a signal he was done with the subject but in a way that wasn’t dismissive or rude. Just… tabled for now while he mulled it over.

She was content with that, to be fair, and she turned back to the balustrade as well, taking a moment to be incredibly grateful that Nadia had provided her with a costume that was- all things considered- quite comfortable. Short, fur-trimmed boots, billowy pants, and a well made, blue-gray tunic that cut open a little low on her breast bone made for a relatively laid-back look for a formal event, especially considering the absolutely insane things people were wearing inside. Nadia had also provided an extremely well made and very meticulously embossed leather waistguard and a very heavy but ridiculously soft cape of some kind of animal hair Erin was unfamiliar with. It was hot but fastened over only one shoulder instead of both, draping around her body and underneath the opposite arm before coming to rest again over the shoulder and pinned in place with a somewhat ridiculously ornamental blue stone inlaid with silver. It matched the silver trim on the tunic, at least, and Erin was impressed that the Countess had its right sleeve removed entirely, replaced with only a band of fur trim and a few delicate silver chains at the shoulder, leaving Erin’s fully tattooed arm uncovered. Costumes and finery were not Erin’s usual interests, but she was flattered and a little taken aback that Nadia had taken so many small and personal details into account.

Muriel, for instance, was almost overwhelmingly good-looking in the clothes she’d chosen. It was clear that she had really spared no expense and dressed people to their individual appeal, not simply choose whatever was the most fashionable. The greens and golds on him were at once strong and bright but not tacky at all and the material had a sheen to it but was thick enough to look structured. The embellishments at the shoulders and the layers of colorful silk wrapped around his waist only highlighted the broadness of his chest and the cut of his hips. Sure, the sheer cape was a little dramatic but for its frivolousness, it did still manage to highlight Muriel’s very impressive hip to shoulder ratio Even the messy way his hair was knotted at the back of his skull only accentuated his features- intense eyes with their bright color, prominent brows and nose…

Erin caught herself before he noticed her staring… _again_ , turning quickly back towards the garden. Somewhere behind them, the music changed. She could hear the strings pick up the tempo and the bass beneath it. It all seemed otherworldly for a few minutes- out here, away from the crowd, away from the investigation, at the palace in a costume out of a dream. She simultaneously wanted and not wanted it to be her last Masquerade. But it stirred something in her and she cast a slightly nervous glance at Muriel.

His head was tilted just slightly, eyes closed and tension gone from his heavy brow for just a moment, listening with surprising intent as the music gained strength. Hells, she had it bad. She knew with certainty he was handsome enough to be the most desirable company at the Masquerade but that random cruelty and pointless suffering had robbed him of the skills, desire, and hope of interacting with people on a normal level. She wondered suddenly why she should let every other attendee here decide their evening for them and felt something stubborn swell in her.

“Want to dance?” she asked, suddenly.

Muriel was halfway through an automatic hum of agreement before Erin let out a dissatisfied “Shit- wait,” and pulled away while Muriel’s brain had had enough time to parse out her words and he struggled to take back his automatic acquiescence.

“Why-”

Erin took a step back and swept her cape back behind her elbow, bowing at the waist and making an effort to imitate Julian’s theatrical manner without… overdoing it. She silently promised to thank him for the unintended inspiration later. She looked up at Muriel’s completely uncomprehending and slightly alarmed expression with an apologetic, if embarrassed smile. “May I have this dance?”

Muriel’s face went from flushed to crimson in about a second and it would have been entertaining if Erin wasn’t spending most of her brainpower on choking down her own embarrassment.

“Like I know how,” he answered, somewhat bitterly after a second, looking away.

Erin stayed firmly put however, and after another awkward second held out her hand to him. “So what? Me either. We’re at a fancy party, don’t you wanna try?” She put her hand out a little closer, almost like coaxing a shy animal out of hiding. “No one’ll see.”

To her uninhibited delight, Muriel- after a few seconds’ hesitation- reached out and Erin took his hand, straightening up. She stepped in close, until their bodies pressed together. She could feel him tighten reflexively, in what she assumed was paranoia and the usual tension of having his personal space breached and wrapped an arm around his waist. The height difference was… pronounced and undeniably awkward. Her face was about level with his sternum and her arm was short and didn’t reach all that far around him. She felt herself redden and some of her bravado leave her but it was too late to back out now. His free hand fumbled when he automatically tried to go for her waist and was blocked by hers wrapping around him.

“Wh- I thought I’m supposed to…” he managed, looking distinctly sweaty at the proximity.

Erin shook her head. “Not unless you want to lead. Put it on my shoulder.”

Muriel didn’t protest, his lips pursed in a flustered line as he obeyed without question, looking anywhere but her face.

Erin really didn’t have any god damned idea what she was doing but she figured swaying around a little bit to the music would be good enough for two introverted people really only here at all for business. The music climbed and then moved to the downbeat and she stepped forward in time. Muriel’s answering movement stuttered slightly, unsure of what to do or how to place himself but Erin just tried to focus on counting the beats in her head, pulling him with her as she moved.

On the next downbeat, he was much more confident and something… pulled inside Erin’s chest. She closed her eyes for a second, never losing the count of the music. One, two, three. One, two, three. Another few bars and she had it. Still concentrating deeply, she moved in time, her steps suddenly confident. She couldn’t break concentration and look at Muriel’s face, she couldn't stop to think about anything but the count of the beat and moving into position as it hit. Instinctively, she knew this was fragile… incredibly delicate and incredibly difficult. Gone like a snowflake the second her warm flesh touched it. Her brow furrowed and she didn’t dare open her eyes. She moved and moved Muriel with her, who fell into her lead quickly.

The song took a sudden turn into a mellower section and she abruptly froze, the thread breaking and the smoke clearing. The momentum of their movement slowed and they came to a gradual stop. She was breathing a little heavily, not really from the exertion of the dance, but from the deep feeling of tightness gripping her insides and the thrill of whatever had just happened. She looked up Muriel’s broad body after a second, finally meeting his eyes with a shellshocked kind of expression. To her further surprise, he was looking wide eyed and a little shocked, too.

“I had… no idea you could that,” he said softly, his voice raw with a kind of wonder that made Erin’s face burning hot.

“I can’t… I mean, I’ve never,” she fumbled for the words for a drawn out second. “If I ever could do that… I don’t remember anything.”

Erin realized then that they were swaying just slightly, vaguely in time with the music. Muriel didn’t seem to notice and managed to look thoughtful for a moment, even with the stubborn flush lingering in his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “Maybe it isn’t a memory. Natural talent, you think?” he asked slowly.

The laugh she let out was simultaneously incredulous and delighted. “Is that even possible?”

“Hell if I know,” he returned with a shrug, gradually growing comfortable enough with the contact between them to forget that it was no longer actively embarrassing. “Never really danced before.”

There was a second where Erin considered this and then the music swelled and built up to an obvious finale. Deciding in an instant and with a determined smirk, she turned them and dipped him, the arm around the small of his back straining as his weight against it began to increase rapidly. There was a split second where she could hold steady but then he started to tip too far- his eyes widened (in time with hers, actually, as they both realized what was going to happen before it did) and he jerked in surprise, flailing slightly as his hand clenched automatically on her shoulder.

Erin was jerked nearly in half as Muriel’s full weight fell back and then their locked hands had him yanking her the rest of the way off balance. They landed in a heap and she bounced awkwardly off his ribcage, coming to rest sprawled on her hip against his side. He snorted and laughed- a real laugh- uninhibited and loud until tears formed in the corner of his eye.

She laughed too, though it was tempered by embarrassment and a subtle pull of self-defeat at realizing yet again that her past was, yet again, out of her reach. She let out a humored exhale and shook her head slightly as he collected himself and wiped at the corner of his eye. “A little overconfident,” he finally chuckled, crunching upwards and bracing the movement with the hand that wasn’t still holding her. “Past you definitely didn’t have your right hook, I don’t think, but she could’ve held me up either. I’m … _much_ bigger than you.”

Erin opened her mouth for a moderately snarky comment but then thought better of it. Sitting up proper, she lifted Muriel’s hand- still large enough to engulf hers- and brought his scarred knuckles to her lips for a second in deliberately chaste kiss.

His face went from flushed to scarlet in an instant and the smirk was wiped from his mouth- now floundering stupidly as he stammered ineffectually. His eyes were ridiculously wide and he stared at her like a small, cornered prey animal for a second before he averted his gaze and muttered something unintelligible before pursing his lips into an embarrassed little line.

Erin let out a bark of a laugh and chose to be merciful, finally pulling herself up to her feet and pushing some of her unkempt hair out of her face. “Well, I had fun,” she quipped with a small smirk as he quickly made to do the same (if only to give him literally anything else to focus on).


End file.
